O N T H E O U T S I D E, I H A D I T A L L . . .
On the inside, all I felt was shame, frustration, and lack of control.
Even at my worst, I was doing really well.
I had a successful YouTube career with over 400,000 people following my life and my advice. I had sponsorships, speaking gigs, and was on the cover of magazines.
But when it came to my personal life, my relationship, I was constantly falling short.
I was a really confident and independent person before I met my boyfriend.
I, for sure, thought that the qualities I possessed in other areas of my life would simply translate when another person entered the picture.
It's safe to say they didn't.
At all.
I quickly turned into a Grumpy Girlfriend to cope with the unexpected challenges that came my way.
I thought that if I was really grumpy and angry and annoyed all the time, that would somehow protect me from getting hurt. It would protect me from all the potential dangers I might encounter now that I was sharing my life with someone I love.
T H E R E S U L T ?
My feelings were in a constant state of being hurt, for no good reason.
T H I S W A S T H E C Y C L E O F M Y L I F E :
This cycle was spinning so fast, I felt out of control. One thing always led to another and no matter how desperate I was to find a way out, nothing seemed to help.
Meanwhile, I was trying to keep up with my job, building my brand, and most importantly, being a confident role model to young women everywhere.
Yeah right...
I hit rock bottom a few times through the years...
I would throw temper tantrums about shirts sticking out of the drawer, send nasty texts because he'd had friends over and hadn't cleaned off the kitchen table, and always make rude comments in front of others. I was acting like a total b*tch, and I knew it.
I just didn't know how to stop.
Then I learned these 5 things
H O W T O . . .
> Stop identifying myself with all my thoughts
> Become a loving authority inside of my own mind
> Decide for myself what to think and believe
> Never unintentionally acting on a negative emotion
> Finally, fix all my own problems without blaming other people
The control I had been missing returned to me.
I used to think it was empowering to tell others what to do and how to act. That I was taking control of the situation.
The most important thing I learned was that I'm never more powerless than when I'm messing around in other people's business.
The only power I have is in my own life, over my own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
T O D A Y . . .
I am proud of the girlfriend I am (without faking any of it on social media and without being scared of being "found out").
I no longer feel like my boyfriend is putting up with me and I'm not putting up with him, either.
Whenever I notice myself slip back into that old cycle I know exactly what the problem is and how to fix it.
If I can learn these tools and change my life, so can you.
No more feeling like a "toxic girlfriend" who is no fun to be around. No more feeling like an imposter because you're private life isn't aligned with who you are out in the world.
You can be the girlfriend you've always wanted to be...
I can teach you how.
O N T H E O U T S I D E, I H A D
I T A L L . . .
On the inside, all I felt was shame, frustration, and lack of control.
Even at my worst, I was doing really well.
I had a successful YouTube career with over 400,000 people following my life and my advice. I had sponsorships, speaking gigs, and was on the cover of magazines.
But when it came to my personal life, my relationship, I was constantly falling short.
I was a really confident and independent person before I met my boyfriend.
I, for sure, thought that the qualities I possessed in other areas of my life would simply translate when another person entered the picture.
It's safe to say they didn't.
At all.
I quickly turned into a Grumpy Girlfriend to cope with the unexpected challenges that came my way.
I thought that if I was really grumpy and angry and annoyed all the time, that would somehow protect me from getting hurt. It would protect me from all the potential dangers I might encounter now that I was sharing my life with someone I love.
T H E R E S U L T ?
My feelings were in a constant state of being hurt, for no good reason.
T H I S W A S T H E C Y C L E O F M Y L I F E :
This cycle was spinning so fast, I felt out of control. One thing always led to another and no matter how desperate I was to find a way out, nothing seemed to help.
Meanwhile, I was trying to keep up with my job, building my brand, and most importantly, being a confident role model to young women everywhere.
Yeah right...
I hit rock bottom a few times through the years...
I would throw temper tantrums about shirts sticking out of the drawer, send nasty texts because he'd had friends over and hadn't cleaned off the kitchen table, and always make rude comments in front of others. I was acting like a total b*tch, and I knew it.
I just didn't know how to stop.
Then I learned these 5 things
H O W T O . . .
> Stop identifying myself with all my thoughts
> Become a loving authority inside of my own mind
> Decide for myself what to think and believe
> Never unintentionally acting on a negative emotion
> Finally, fix all my own problems without blaming other people
The control I had been missing returned to me.
I used to think it was empowering to tell others what to do and how to act. That I was taking control of the situation.
The most important thing I learned was that I'm never more powerless than when I'm messing around in other people's business.
The only power I have is in my own life, over my own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
T O D A Y . . .
I am proud of the girlfriend I am (without faking any of it on social media and without being scared of being "found out").
I no longer feel like my boyfriend is putting up with me and I'm not putting up with him, either.
Whenever I notice myself slip back into that old cycle I know exactly what the problem is and how to fix it.
If I can learn these tools and change my life, so can you.
No more feeling like a "toxic girlfriend" who is no fun to be around. No more feeling like an imposter because you're private life isn't aligned with who you are out in the world.
You can be the girlfriend you've always wanted to be...
I can teach you how.